Courtroom B at Stonebridge Magistrates became the internet’s newest meme factory yesterday after Marla Dune, a woman known locally for her over-the-top personality and even more over-the-top schemes, was found guilty of conspiracy — despite her insisting she never actually committed anything.
According to Marla, the entire situation was one big misunderstanding because, in her words:
“I was THINKING about doing it. But thoughts are free! Thoughts aren’t crimes!”
The jury, apparently, did not vibe with that interpretation of the law.
“You can’t arrest me for imagination!” she argued
Witnesses say Marla delivered a full TED Talk-style speech, waving her arms wildly and pacing like she was rehearsing for a dramatic Netflix monologue.
Prosecutors, however, pointed out that her “idea” involved:
- Writing a full plan
- Buying supplies
- Attempting step one
- Googling ‘how illegal is this actually’
Marla responded by sighing loudly and saying:
“That was research. It’s called curiosity. Einstein had it. Look him up.”
One juror reportedly choked on their water.
The Verdict Drops — And Marla Loses It
When the judge announced she was guilty, Marla froze, blinked twice, and then dramatically shouted:
“GUILTY?! FOR THINKING OUT LOUD?!”
She then turned to the courtroom audience as if they were her live studio audience and yelled:
“This is why people don’t share ideas anymore!”
A bailiff described the moment as “equal parts theatre, meltdown, and motivational speech.”
Social Media Reaction? Predictably Unhinged
The leaked footage has already gone viral, with comments like:
- “girl tried to plead ‘I was just brainstorming’ 💀”
- “she thought she was in a philosophy class not a courtroom”
- “public enemy #0.5”
- “the judge’s face at 0:14 sent me”
One TikTok creator edited the clip with the caption: “When you tell your boss you didn’t do the task, you just thought about doing it.”
What Happens Now?
Marla will be sentenced next week, though experts predict she’ll spend most of the hearing giving “inspirational speeches that nobody asked for.”
Court officials have already confirmed one thing:
“We will be muting her microphone this time.”
About the Author
